Blogging Miles

In a couple of days, the greatest endurance event in the world will begin. Thousands of miles logged by a single clydesdale in a 24-hour period. Of course, we’re talking about ol’ Kris Kringle. Since we pray at the altar of running, we like to keep this blog non-denominational, but you gotta admit–when it comes to superhuman feats of endurance, the jolly man has to be at the top of any list.

And really, when you think about it (as we have…a lot), how similar is his X-Mas journey to an ultraultramarathon? He’s got all the tell-tale signs of a serious runner. First, the circumference of the Earth is about 25,000 miles, or just short of a thousand marathons. Second, he wears a blended wool suit–the perfect breathable material for wicking away the perspiration. Third, every stop he makes, he loads up on oatmeal cookies and chugs some eggnog. Now, we might recommend something with a bit more electrolytes, but clearly Santa is concerned with keeping his carbs and glucose levels high. Smart.

One thing that we can’t quite wrap our noodles around is the reindeer. If St. Nick is really just a hardcore distance freak, why try and convince the world that he’s just flying around behind some bioluminescent ruminants? One guess–he doesn’t want to let anyone in on his training secrets. Now, everyone thinks that the best runners are those that train at altitude, and in the heat. Think Kenya, and Ethiopia, and Mexico. But what if the best marathon biome is really the frozen ice floes of the North Pole? How else do you explain the fact that a several centuries old man pushing 300 lbs–and who is mythical, no less–can complete the most grueling test of human willpower known to mankind? And can keep coming back for more every December 25th?

We’d sure like to know his secret. That’s all we want for Christmas. That, and also the ability to fly.

Marathon season is in full swing. New York, Chicago, the Marine Corps Halfsie…it’s so busy, we almost don’t have time to blog about it! But we wanted to a moment to address a little bit of a to-do that you may have heard about…

We were all excited for Meb Keflezighi to break the tape in the Big Apple. We thought it was a great victory for a great runner–and an American to boot (or, to coin a phrase, “to running shoe!”). But not everyone saw it that way. See, some people are jibber-jabbering about how Meb isn’t really an American. Yeah, he lives here, and he grew up here, and learned to run here, and he’s a citizen and all, but for some folks, that just isn’t good enough. For them, they still see Meb as something other than an American.

We couldn’t disagree more. Sure, Meb was born in Eritrea, but his family fled that country in search of freedom and opportunity, and instead of running from danger, Meb now has the chance to run towards glory. So what if he didn’t come over on the Mayflower? And anyways, weren’t those buckleheads just running away from oppression in Jolly Ol’ England so that they could pursue the life they wanted here in the U.S. of A.? Why do we call it the American story when they do it and something else when Meb does it?

So we say hip-hip-hooray for Meb, and with that national carb-loading day called Thanksgiving right around the corner, we say to those around the world who look to the states for its promise of life. liberty, and happiness, our doors are still open.

Especially if you can run a 14:40 5K split.

So this weekend was the 4th of July, America’s birthday and all, and we celebrated it the same way we do every year: running exactly 1776 paces while reciting the Declaration of Independence. It was a glorious a 11 minutes, and we sustained ourselves for the duration by cramming our faces with hot dogs from the BBQs we passed on our way. We sure enjoyed our freedom!

As much fun as we had, though, we always feel it’s important to take a little time to remember what it is we’re celebrating. So here are a few of the stories of America’s founding to help remind us all what a great and precious thing freedom really is.

-The phrase “One if by land, two if by sea,” was a warning created by lanterns in Old North Church to alert the patriots in Boston of the British approach. It was originally “One if by land, two if by sea, three if by bike,” and actually was the inspiration for the first triathlon.

-Speaking of patriots, Paul Revere’s “Midnight Ride” may actually have been a “Midnight Run.” Early historians couldn’t believe he made the roundtrip from Boston to Lexington so quickly, and assumed he rode a horse. Really, though, Revere was just an avid, tireless runner.

-The Freedom Trail in Boston linking the key historic sites from the begining of the Revolution is also the route of America’s first 5K. Actually, it’s a 4K, but people were shorter back then, so same difference.

-Everyone knows that, as a child, George Washington was caught chopping down a cherry tree. What they don’t know was that he was going to whittle the branches into relay batons.

-Ben Franklin was known not only as a patriot, but also an inventor. He discovered electricity and developed the bifocals. His notebooks also contain the earliest known sketches for interchangeable running spikes.

-Most history books will tell you that the Boston Tea Party was motivated by taxes. Not true. The party-goers were a regularly meeting road running club, and they broke into a near-riot when the discovered that the Redcoats had replaced their post race flagons of Gatorade with piping hot darjeeling.

-John Adams and Thomas Jefferson–both signers of the Declaration of Independence and the 2nd and 3rd Presidents–died on the same day: July 4th, 1826, 50 years after Independence. They also had the same exact marathon splits.

-Lewis and Clark where bravely charting the vast interior of the Louisiana Purchase in search of ideal cross country routes.

These are just some of the hidden stories about the heros who helped shaped our country. So next time your out running your route, remember who it was that ran before you and the sacrifices they made to pave the way for generations of future runners.